Self-Image & Ego – Real Deep Dive
What’s becoming more widely understood is the use of repetition and affirmations in combination with a robust ego and a positive self-opinion provides a better chance for successful new outcomes and goals. If low self-esteem or a poor ego underpin an individual’s mind-state this can corrupt the whole deal. Which is why it’s important before embarking on any improvement opportunities (self-help or professional) to set things up as best as possible from the start. Perfect conditions to work with our mind are seldom possible, but we can still do our best to manage the environmental factors that are within our control.
The ‘Little Engine That Could (‘I think I can, I think I can’) is a worthwhile folktale having its central premise that a steam engine thinking it could, can. It’s a good illustration of the point above that unless that little engine carries a good feeling or vibe about him or herself, that just thinking ‘I can’ might not be enough to clinch the deal, in the case of the little engine, to get to the top of the hill.
We all have the power to achieve goals to which we may have thought or ‘learned’ we were previously incapable or believed ‘too hard’. Ego and self-esteem are two important pillars in determining some of those successes and our general wellbeing. These also help support many other aspects, at a conscious, and subconscious level. While physical attributes play a major role in determining some successes in our life, these are much more objectively measured than perhaps how having a more positive disposition plays in those same life outcomes, but it is becoming more widely accepted that a positive self-image is better than not. By implication, the nature of our individual self-opinion could even impact our day-to-day health.
Go ask yourself
Our internal senses and traits are sculptured from our genetics, parental, and environmental inputs – all helping lay a foundation for our opinions, scepticism, and our individually deep and secret desires – such as those which also feed our ego and self-image. And especially if we carry an excessive or unrealistic opinion of ourselves and we allow this to repeatedly underpin our decisions or opinions, we risk reinforcing all previous subconscious programming. Which, of course, then influences future decision making in much the same way. Creating a focus toward an awareness of our own ‘self-opinion-making-process’may seem a bit of paradox, but it does encourage thinking on how we go about wider solving problems and on how to form full and healthy views, rather than purely ploughing headlong in much the same way as we always have.
A problem today?
One observation surrounding the matter of younger folk suspected of having lower levels of resilience is evidenced to one degree with their placing significant importance and focussed effort toward achieving this set of important but somewhat luxury needs, which sit high on Maslow’s pyramid, prior to themselves having achieved the lower-level needs. It’s then entirely possible some will seek love and ego gratification before even adequately capable to fend for themselves, source food, and essentially be on a path to independence. It’s almost as if (for low resilience ‘sufferers’) their hierarchy of needs diagram should be turned upside down. Who’s to say what’s right or wrong with anyone’s freedoms in life, however this goes completely against Maslow’s proposed model.
The bottom-line here is that there is developing parental frustration and confusion when we see younger folk thundering forward with attempts to fulfil those higher need levels, most typically evidenced with endless hours focussed on self-image-based effort. Through such conduits an unfortunate edge is that it can seem to many as a desperate bid for attention, to which are largely ignored, and then fuelling an even greater effort to ‘look-at-me, look-at-me’. When too few ‘followers’ engage, then “Am-I-ok? Please tell me I’m ok” is often not far behind. From here the head games can really start. Little wonder when we perhaps naively placed what was previously dedicated within the realm and domain of maturing adults, into the hands of our children. Furthermore, social media acts as a sort of restrictor (or even a blocker) of a key society trait: social shaming, which encourages an adjustment or balances some behaviours – especially those related to ego and self-image. For example, this is when the boys at the football club turn their backs on Mike (who won the game with a last-minute touch down) or by telling him to ‘get a grip’ after his endless boasting after the game. Repeat behaviour on Mike’s part may require more direct or more obvious shame-balancing tactics (which we do automatically in our social world) which may see Mike’s level of self-respect take a hit before it all sinks in. His pride and associated honour and dignity might slide following deeper consideration of the social feedback. This process of social feedback is typically subtle and does not require direct accusations, which helps avoid unnecessary conflict and keeps the focus on the main issue.