Resilience – Real Deep Dive
Additionally, urban dictionaries chime in with grit, determination, sturdiness, drive, hardiness, being robust, and being ‘thick-skinned’. Gauging or measuring with any accuracy the changes to any individual’s resilience levels would require first settling on a clear definition and then forming suitable and objective benchmarks. If we can’t easily identify or measure the factors which encompass resilience (much less the subtleties between the possible factors and aspects which form anyone’s overall ‘resilience score’) then this whole exercise is pointless. So, we need to simplify it.
It’s handy to think that as we move through life we acquire or learn various key skills in life. Here let’s think of them as represented by set of building blocks. If the base isn’t sturdy, we might struggle to put more on top. It helps to imagine you are a single human, living 50,000 ago, and for which survival requires getting the basic needs in order first. Let’s assume that our needs form into levels. Those at the base are the must-haves (food, water, shelter) and those higher are more nice-to-haves (like falling in love). Each level requires skills being suitably achieved before working on (or aspiring) to those on higher levels. The lowest level includes independently knowing how to find food and eat, having clean air to breathe, and drinking potable water. These are the cave-man basics. Then might come sorting out some shelter. (These immediate skills will also prove handy, should we develop a need to return to them later). As we grow, we gain experience and abilities through our toils (successes and failures) and learn to better cope with the good and bad that life delivers, as when things in life go wrong. We start building resilience, you might say.
Once we develop and master rudimentary survival skills the foundation-levels essentially have us able to take care of ourselves. Access to shelter and safety comes next. We then typically seek a life-partner to love and ‘share the load’ and procreate. Significantly enough, the training on our most basic skills comes from our parents, from the moment we are born. Things like, “Don’t eat sand!”, “Don’t set fire to your sister!” or (if you are on fire) “Get the hose!’ One theory suggesting lower resilience levels having permeated some parts of society is that it ‘does not rest with anything our kids have or haven’t done, it rests with what their parents haven’t done’ (including some parents of parents). To be fair, this is a grand generalisation, and doesn’t imply all or any parents are crap, but it does help suggest where the root of the problem may sit.
One observation surrounding the matter of younger folk (suspected of having lower levels of resilience) is they indicate placing significant importance and effort toward achieving those needs which sit at higher levels – BEFORE they have adequately achieved the basic lower-level needs, even in a rudimentary fashion. It’s entirely possible some would seek love and ego gratification before even adequately capable to fend for themselves, source food, and essentially be on a path to independence if those needs are already taken care of for them.
So, if this is worthy of consideration (and for the marketing boffins, this is, of course, representative of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs) how might this have occurred? How could we have let a generation (or two) down? Have we been doing too much? Have we inadvertently led some down a track to imply or pretend skills required at lower levels no longer apply? Possibly. Have a think on that. Entropy inevitably forces our world to a state of ever-increasing complexity, and through this some life-lessons may have slipped through the cracks. Some proponents of this theory additionally put forward several recent and topical trends as being catalysts in this space, including things such as fast-paced technology, widespread communication, lower interest rates, more open labour markets, reduced trade barriers, low unemployment, and a relatively settled global political world landscape. It could turn out we just never considered the ‘spread and depth of responsibility’ that goes with the new territory – that new territory being swathes of society achieving most or close to all of everything for which they had wished and worked.
So, what do we need to do? How can I fix myself?
Go find some self-awareness books? What could be suggested for managing or improving low levels of resilience? It’s not a case of just think and be, and it’s not a case of finding a personal success book to better control your life, we must initially accept what’s in play. For example, the world won’t survive for long in a world dominated with a labour force hell-bent on all being online influencers or animation designers. We need to commit to small steps toward a solution, including reinstating/initiating self-pride, and a belief in our individual capability.
Next, we teach, coach, teach, coach, and teach some more. It’s a slow burn, like watching paint dry, or sitting at a test cricket match, but it’s a mindset shift. If it’s taken time to get to a position (of low(er) resilience), then equally it will take time to turn things around. Just as in a court of law, a closer truth is made more difficult when dealing with hostile witnesses, so an ‘uncooperative’ group or (dare we say it) those in a hostile, angry, or entitled state are much less likely to take personal responsibility for their individual outcomes.
Identifying low-resilience levels
Resilience levels could be referred in a general capacity or relating to something more specific. For example, one could be regarded as having low levels of emotional resilience, or critique resilience, or physical resilience. Without the benefit of quantifiable measurement, resilience levels may be more a feeling or opinion requiring constant comparison to others in situational similarity. In fact, it requires almost constant comparing to the implied or perceived levels of others to be of any use at all. Resilience levels can also vary situationally. For example, Bob shows good emotional resilience to his neighbour’s repeated efforts to get him to cut his tree on the boundary but falls to pieces in front of his boss at his remuneration review.
There’s no quick or easy way to accurately identify individuals with levels of low resilience, in any subject. However, experience indicates two common indicators where low resilience levels lurk. First, those with areas of low resilience seem to talk or refer about their areas of low resilience often (possibly preparing the world for approaching failure and disappointment). Second, and conversely, they never talk about them, instead preferring to push matters under the rug. This latter group make things much harder than the first with which to work. Both though, tend to be great pretenders. (Let’s refer to them as ‘fakers’ even though this term might feel a bit harsh). They behave as such often to hide those areas of low resilience.
Sales Roles Reveal Low Resilience Levels
Low resilience levels in just one or two areas may unfortunately bush-off into other parts of one’s life. For example, say, that of struggling with basic social engagement then leading on to difficulty in forming worthwhile and durable long-term relationships. Rather than ‘facing the fear’, some support a justification for increasing isolation and in turn a cycle of more dependency toward those possibly few talents or skills individuals consider they can do well. Or put another way as we mentioned above, they lean-on or overplay skills with which they are more comfortable or feel already skilled enough, rather than take risks on new things at which they may fail or only achieve to a barely acceptable standard. An employee having a role involving even a hint of selling, can put their resilience levels to good use, or at least to the test. As a sales role increases or encompasses more of the sales ‘functions’ required to manage or service a customer base from zero, the more an employee opens themselves to scrutiny of general resilience levels. Resilience levels are probably put to the ultimate test when a role encompasses more of or the entire sales cycle. Typically, those roles apply for most small business owner operators – most new small retail businesses fail inside the first two years, following which on the hit list is then to buy a how to change your life book, and take on a mindset transformation, but better to have done that earlier. Coping with change isn’t easy here. Many small retail businesses have no idea how they need to be resilient across so much. Even when faced with what they need to do to save their businesses, they would rather see it die than face some of their resilience matters. Tips for selling could be all some small operators need.