Is Positive Really That Positive?
When we get down in the dumps, stew in our own filth, or display negativity, people say, “Come on, let’s be more positive eh!?” It’s almost become indoctrinated in us.
But what is positive? Mr Webster says it’s (1) formally laid down or imposed (2) expressed clearly or peremptorily (3) fully assured. Hmmm, hardly what one might expect for a word of such calibre! Let’s be a bit more positive eh, Mr Webster!
Keen for clarification I enquired of the kitchen staff what positive meant to them; daughter Beau, 25, “Ah, reinforcement, smile, good”. Boyfriend Jim (hers, not mine), 28, “Um oh Dino, um ah um, ah… upbeat, friendly, nice to be around”. Cat Meko 14, a big yawn.
So, two out of three cats reckon positive is a good thing. And while that’s good, it turns out they’re all wrong. Positive is not good, it’s more powerful than you could possibly imagine. And it is. It’s real. I’m positive about that. If you live your life with a positive outlook and attitude, I guarantee you a better life than if you had not. Point blank, end of story. Research also supports this, and I challenge anyone to present a case where this does not hold true.
And contra to popular belief, positivity is not something you wear or hold. It’s not an umbrella or raincoat to be worn only in wet weather, nor is it something that can become worn-out. It is something you are, a vibe thrumming in the background of our subconscious, helping our soul to sigh.
This does however raise a couple of lurking questions; how much positive is healthy? Could we be too positive? Can it be improved upon?
In everyday life, it’s about finding individual balance – at home, work and play. Positivity does not productively require it enveloping us for every minute of every day, but rather more like a reliable soldier always at our side to fix stuff or help us recover or cope. And, regarding improving levels of positivity, yes of course we can, but it’s not just like turning on a hot tap – bathwater gets cold again pretty-damn-quick! Improvement in this area may need a deeper dive into the murky grey-water of our subconscious programming. The good news is while this might sound complicated, it’s easy. And cheap as chips.
Positivity is also a mind-state carrying an assumed degree of confidence toward success in achieving tasks or goals, though the two are not one in the same. They can comfortably work alongside each other yet still be poles apart. For example, one can be positive toward an undesirable outcome – which is generally not considered positive, yet one may be full of confidence that they’ll perform poorly – which is itself not necessarily negative.
One of the key challenges faced by managers, advisers, coaches, counsellors, therapists (and yes, even qualified professionals) is empowering individuals feeling or considered equipped with low positivity levels that they can do something about it. A second precarious aspect here is for individuals not having sought help in this space from the start, yet for which becomes a roadblock to address their primary concerns. Just as for example, a missile-launcher unable to be correctly loaded, or an Olympic sprinter finding their track shoes on the wrong feet both having much more difficulty sorting things out either in the midst of battle or while sprinting down the home straight!
The big takeaways here are firstly, that positivity levels can be improved and in numerous situations using remarkably simple, low-cost techniques, and secondly, we’re better attending to low-positivity levels before needing to be embraced. Positivity is also linked strongly to levels of resilience. One of NZ’s foremost psychological philosophers and recovery heroes, Dr Lucy Hone, writes in her book Resilient Grieving, ‘… resilience isn’t a fixed trait that some people have and others lack. Most people are resilient, and it seems to require pretty everyday processes.’
To finish with a flick of our positivity tail to our positivity tale, advice when ending any rehearsal, sports practice, trials or testing, from coaches to lab chemists we apparently should ‘finish on a high!’ or ‘make that last one a good one!’ Why? Well, whether scoring points or baking muffins, we process our last situational experience and embed it in our subconscious. If we end on a downer, it’s possible to sabotage our enjoyment of the event just completed or dampen our attitude and motivation to return. We can even form doubt around our skills and confidence levels.
Funny how the mind works, eh.
So, how positive do you think you are? If you are up to finding out, do our simple, free, no-catches online quiz.